Wednesday, June 27, 2012

You May Be From Fresno IF...

You May Be From Fresno IF:

  • You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a “Tri-tip” comes from.
  • You think salsa goes on everything
  • Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
  • Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.
  • The best restaurants in town start with “El” or “Los.”
  • You think $400 a month rent is way too high.
  • You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
  • People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.
  • The pool can be warmer than you are.
  • You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.
  • You still don’t know your way around downtown.
  • Anywhere “and 99″ is too far away.
  • You think you’re better than people from Clovis.
  • Someone mentions the fair and your thoughts immediately turn to cinnamon rolls...or being stabbed.
  • You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
  • You have to explain to someone about “G Street.”
  • The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
  • You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
  • You hadn’t been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie theater opened.
  • You never knew how you managed before River Park.
  • Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, “Just wait.”
  • You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
  • You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
  • You no longer associate bridges and rivers with water.
  •  You can say "It's 110 degrees outside" without fainting.
  •  You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
  •  You can make sun tea instantly.
  •  You know a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  •  You pick parking places by shade instead of distance.
  •  You can drive your car with only 2 fingers.
  • You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Fresno.


  1. Lmfao, that was the funniest shit I've ever read about the people of Fresno. Mainly because its all true.

  2. You'll get to enjoy Fresno's wonderful sights at your own time if you have your own mode of transportation. While you could opt for something that's brand new, you should also think of the savings you could enjoy once you opt for what used cars Fresno dealers have to offer.


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