You May Be From Fresno IF...

You May Be From Fresno IF:

• You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a “Tri-tip” comes from.
• You think salsa goes on everything
• Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
• Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.
• The best restaurants in town start with “El” or “Los.”
• You think $400 a month rent is way too high.
• You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
• People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.
• The pool can be warmer than you are.
• You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.
• You still don’t know your way around downtown.
• Anywhere “and 99″ is too far away.
• You think you’re better than people from Clovis.
• Someone mentions the fair and your thoughts immediately turn to cinnamon rolls...or being stabbed.
• You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
• You have to explain to someone about “G Street.”
• The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
• You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
• You hadn’t been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie theater opened.
• You never knew how you managed before River Park.
• Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, “Just wait.”
• You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
• You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
• You no longer associate bridges and rivers with water.
•  You can say "It's 110 degrees outside" without fainting.
•  You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
•  You can make sun tea instantly.
•  You know a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
•  You pick parking places by shade instead of distance.
•  You can drive your car with only 2 fingers.
•  
• You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Fresno.